You Are Going To Shake Your Head And Groan

I received this in an email from my daughter-in-law, Brenda – Curtis’ wife.  My only hope is that this is a very small section of our current population.

The following questions were asked in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds’)…………and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
(At least they get to travel!)

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
(This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
(That would work.)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section’.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
. (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

These people vote  — They are the future generation –& they will breed.  America Is Dead!!!

I’d really like to think this is just a joke, but I’ve had a few laughs while watching Jay Leno question young people about American History and the answers they give  him.


About Message In A Fold

I am an over the road truck driver in Drive-Away Transport part of the year, and the sole bookkeeper of this operation the other part of the year. I do a lot of whining until I can get in my craft room and play with paper and glue. View all posts by Message In A Fold

10 responses to “You Are Going To Shake Your Head And Groan

  • Lynn Claridge

    Have a feeling that some of these are made up but they are still funny and it is worrying how little the next generation knows or seems to care.
    There is a quiz programme on the BBC radio at the moment consisting of three university students and three professors. The questions were obviously loaded to help the students. One female student in her third year couldn’t answer any of the questions on her subject and the only question she did finally answer was who is Mickey Mouse’s wife? Now if I was her parent I would be seriously questioning whether that girl was in the right place and if the money had been spent wisely.
    A saying we have over here is: Why should England tremble? Or how on earth are we, as a nation, going to move forward with these idiots coming along?
    Love and hugs
    Lynn xx

    • Message In A Fold

      Oh my – only knowing the answer to Mickey Mouse’s wife?! I bet her team mates were so thrilled with her acumen they wanted to spend more time with her after the show ended. Well, maybe not. I can just imagine the kind of heat she took with questions like “Really? You got on this program because you are so ….?” And I can imagine if her parent’s neighbors were tuned in to the program she came home to receive a few questions also.

      I just don’t get it anymore. What are we coming to as a society? We’ll end up back where we all began. Education will only be for the wealthy and the rest of us rabble will become just another generation of the “Great Unwashed” (can’t remember where I heard that term).

      There are so many reality television shows on here that point out the fact that our young people are selfish dolts. One is titled “You’re Cut Off” and it is about young women in their 20’s that are from uber rich families. These girls spend money on material things and don’t have a clue about how to use the washing machine or clean a toilet. The show is about the parents sending these girls to a sort of “boot camp” where they live in an ordinary three bedroom house and have to learn how to cook, clean, and get along with each other. Frankly, the show is more of a horror show than anything else. One episode was too many for me to handle. I just wanted to slap all the girls into next week. Then there is “Toddlers and Tiaras” which is about little girls in beauty pageants. About 15 minutes of the screaming and temper tantrums of these little girls was enough to make me run out the front door and run amok.

      After these two programs I think I know why our younger generation is a pack of idiots. The parents!!!

  • Lynn Claridge

    You have it in a nutshell, Leslie.
    Fortunately we don’t have television but rom what I’ve heard there are far too many “reality” shows on over here too. They are as far removed from reality as some of the over wealthy 🙂
    I refuse to be classed as the Great Unwashed and will not let those further up the food chain treat me as such but I do despair that society’s values have dropped so low that it is no wonder we ordinary folk are looked down on.
    I haven’t a qualification to my name, I’ve never been to college or university – didn’t get the chance sadly – but I haven’t let that hold me back. There is plenty of learning available at the “University of Life” 🙂 Off my soap box now!!

    Hugs and love
    Lynn xx

    • Message In A Fold

      Right On!! I so agree with you – 100%. Makes a person angry enough to spit nails when we’ve not had the opportunity to a higher education but have made our way in life so well without one. It really irks me when I come across people that feel they are “OWED” something. Sadly there are more and more of them every day. People not willing to work and gain the things they want, just believe these things should be handed to them.

      One of the things Joe and I did to our kids was to impress on them that everything has a price and you get what you pay for. If something is given to you free it is worth just that – nothing. When they earn the desire of their heart, through some blood sweat and tears, the final result means more to them and the satisfaction is something that can’t be taken from them. That lesson was driven home to them in a very unexpected way one time long ago. A young girl they went to school with was given a brand new car upon her high school graduation. Within three months that car was trashed – dented, paint scarred, and the engine blown. All of our kids were stunned and the greatest thing that came out of that moment was to hear out of our kids mouths “Well she got it for free so what do you expect”. You know, Joe and I both about died of heart failure upon hearing those words coming from our kids. Mostly because we thought they weren’t listening to us 🙂

      Think I’d better get down from my soap box too :o)
      Love you Girlfriend – Leslie

  • Lynn Claridge

    Oh nooooo! I wrote out a whole reply to your comments Leslie and it has all disappeared. Perhaps it is just as well as I stepped up onto my soapbox and ranted for a few words about these so called ‘reality’ programmes 🙂
    Annoying though to have spent the time typing on my temperamental keyboard and then it all vanishes into the ether!
    Love and hugs
    Lynn xx

  • Lynn Claridge

    And yes totally agree with you that it most definitely is the fault of the damn parents!!

    By the way Kimmy had her op today and she came round from the anaesthetic fighting!! Anyway after she had slept for a while and thrown up she was fine. She rang us this evening to tell us all about it. She is bein kept in hospital overnight as she was one of the last to go into theatre so Ruth will have to spend the night on a reclining chair. Kimmy sounded very chirpy 🙂

    Love and hugs
    Lynn xx

    • Message In A Fold

      I’m so happy to hear that Kim has had her operation and recovered in fighting form 🙂 Awesome!! Poor Ruth having to sleep on one of those really uncomfortable chairs but I bet she is just so glad it is over. Keep us posted on Kim’s progress. Finally the raised voices and constant repeating what you’ve said will be welcome in all of the households and your Kim will do better in school once again.

      Awesome, totally awesome. Such good news.
      Love you my Friend – Leslie

  • Virtuagirl hd 2011

    Thanks for this post, it is great

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