I have a project that has been neglected for a couple months now. It has become “My Personal Monster”.
This table heaped with last years work had started out with so much promise of getting done. The box below the table is more of the same. Sadly, the promise fizzled into a silent guilt partner.
It is near my computer and I can see it out of the corner of my eye as I check my e-mail daily, make an entry in my blog, surf the internet for projects to do for my crafting business.
This small section of space in my living room has become a total conflict zone. I see it and feel overwhelmed. I see it and know that if I just got started on it progress would be made. I see it and know that I am not living up to my expectations as a person that gets things done.
The conflict within is an ongoing daily argument with myself. I am very efficient and have a system that works and is proven to work. However, this is a task that is monumental now because I’ve not been efficient in handling it.
By avoiding it on a daily basis, I begin to lie to myself. “I will get started on it tomorrow morning”. Tomorrow comes and I have done the ultimate worst to myself. I have, yet again, lied to me. I have let myself down. Once that begins the rest of my life follows the spiral of a whirlpool. Being pulled ever closer to the whirling spinning waters. Once I get trapped in the current that is powerful there is no fighting my way out of it. I get sucked into the center and find myself in a place I don’t want to be.
My original idea was to do this Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Leaving the rest of the days of the week for housework and for crafting. That worked well until I took the online course in creating my website and had to give that all of my focus. Later came the time when my Sister was here for a couple weeks while our husbands were out working and traveling the roads.
There are three key areas in my thinking that are sabotaging me. Fear, anger, and rebellion.
- FEAR – I have to have this paperwork done before the 25th of March. I’m not going to get it done in time because I’ve wasted so much time already. Where did I leave off in December? This is only going to get worse and not better.
- ANGER – Each day that passes is one day less that I can get back to meet my target date. I have other things to do that are just as important as this paperwork. If I spend all my time on this paperwork then I won’t have time to do the other things I need to do. Then anger with myself for letting this continue and not just make myself begin. I will just have to go back out on the road in May once again and have this atrocious mess to deal with once more. I don’t want to go back out on the road anymore.
- REBELLION – I don’t want to do it. Why is it that I have to be the one to do this all the time? I’m not going to deal with it today because I don’t have to. So what if there is a deadline. I don’t really have to have it done by the 25th of March. I’ve got until April 15th really so I can just forget it for another day.
On YouTube a woman named Marion Smith started off January 2011 with a 31 day challenge. She challenged crafters everywhere to write down things they wanted to get done they have wanted to do for quite a long time. Finish scrapbook layouts that are half done or just need photographs. Get the finished layouts that have been sitting in piles for months, out of the piles stacked in their craft rooms and put in albums. Those that have wanted to do mini albums but have not done so yet to get started on one. Card makers to focus on making greeting cards and get back into stamping. Or to just get some long needed housework project done that is a really hated job.
In short, Marion Smith had put out a challenge to get people out of their comfy procrastination ways and get things accomplished. I know from my own personal experience that when I begin making progress on a task and can see movement I feel good about what I’m doing. I found several videos day before yesterday of this challenge. February is here and January is gone but the challenge is still there for me.
I’m going back to my old way of dealing with this paperwork and that is to focus totally on it every morning. Work steadily at it for four or five hours each day – seven days a week – and it will get done in the time I have set as my finish date. Doing it Monday, Wednesday, and Friday doesn’t work for me because I make excuses why I can’t do it today.
Is there something you have been putting off? Is there a project, big or small, that you have not tended to? Have you been thinking about pulling the refrigerator away from the wall and cleaning the floor beneath? That would mean getting the top of the fridge cleaned and it is full of dust too. Pulling it out is such a chore and it leaves very little room to move around, then you have to push that heavy thing back in place once you are done. If you move the refrigerator out and clean under it then you will have to move the stove out and do the same. So neither one gets done because of the thought of all the work involved.
Join me in getting the “Personal Monster” that growls and snaps at you banished from your life. I am going to be totally accountable to myself and you in dealing with my Personal Monster. I will put the days results of attacking my paperwork on my blog along with a picture of my progress. If you have something you are challenging yourself to do leave me a comment that directs me to your blog and I will take a look at it in the afternoon or evening AFTER I’ve had my daily dose of designated work. I will cheer you on as you work toward your goal.
This time, that Personal Monster of mine is getting a muzzle. Soon it will be out of my life and I can give my total focus on my crafting. 49 Days To Freedom!